People often asked me why I was dating a junior younger by 2 years my age. I simply laughed and told them that age doesn't matter. As long as your partner makes you feel loved, sometimes that's the only reason for you to stay. Because as human beings we crave for love; may it be sexual, platonic, or a confidante--it's an addiction.

 Why wouldn't it be? 

Love makes you feel as if you're way high up in the clouds, like you can almost do anything. 

Love makes you feel warm and giddy, just from the mere memory with that special someone. You'd smile to yourself and think of when you could experience such a happy moment again. 

But love isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Let's not forget love's Yin, who is clearly responsible of love's shady side. 

Now you might wonder what may have caused this perspective of mine, and well this is the truth. If you're the type of person--most probably a girl--whose most of their spare time is spent on watching movies or reading stories that are way too mushy and cliche, then you have been fooled by the many layers of love's sugar coating. 

Maybe when the other person started courting you, they're all sweet and keeping you swooned is their main priority. Well sorry to burst your bubble, sweetie, but that probably wouldn't last very long. It's just their way of securing your heart from the beginning, so later on when they've started getting lazy, you wouldn't mind. You would try to understand them instead. You'd give them your best "okay, it's fine"  for thousands of times. Why? Because you're still in this illusion that they had conjured in the beginning of this all. 

So far I've dated 5 guys and 4 out of them did just that. Even though the 5th guy stood out from the others, love still had to be cruel and ruined what could've been a really amazing adventure. 

After the 4th guy, my whole perspective on love has changed. I believe yours would too if your boyfriend cheated on you. The weird thing that up until now I can't fully fathom is the way I handled the situation. I had expected the crazy and emotional version of me to surface and insulted the guy to the point where he'd hire a sniper from all the way in Australia to assinate me, but instead, I only let a couple tears out and before you know it, I was back on my feet. Ready to take on the world as someone who's single as a pringle. 

I guess you could say I was prepared for it, since the signs were crystal clear, but when the person you're supposedly in love with all of a sudden changed his mind and decided to leave you for another girl he thought more worthy of his love, your mind would probably be altered at least for a tiny bit. 

At that point I had given up on fully committing to just one guy, but that doesn't mean I was playing with every guys' feelings whom I was closed with. I just didn't want to settle with one specific person. I wanted to have fun and to always have one foot out the door in case things went south so I could easily end things off without any hesitation. 

Harsh? Cruel?

I know. 

But I guess that's what happens when your heart's traumatized. Dramatic you say? I'd say for a tiny bit, yes. I guess the better decision was for me not to involve myself with any guys for a while, but at that moment I still craved for affection. Just not love.