It was March 18 1997, everything in my life was completely beautiful. But it stopped right at that day. My father announced it was his last day to live. My siblings and I cried over and over. My mother was crying of disappointment, we didn’t know what to do.

Then we thought that going to the hospital to make sure what he said was right was a better idea. But as the doctor said that there was no other way, it made my feelings get worse. I never felt so broken. The next day we celebrated my 5th birthday in my father’s order. I prefer him to not do it, but he wanted me to be happy. In his last breath, he told me everything I’ve never heard from him. He passed away right on my tiny arms, with me feeling like I’m the most broken plate anyone has ever broke.

After the day of his funeral, my siblings and I spent the whole week visiting his cemetery, crying like we were never out of tears. Mother decided to stay home rather than wasting her week crying over a dead body. As we went home, I thought that she could be right. Because it was for our own good. The next day, I stopped visiting him.

Several years passed by and my brother planned to look for money outside the country. I didn’t agree at first, but it was for our family. So, I ended up agreeing with him and my mother. After a few hours when he left, we all heard the news that my brother’s plane just crashed. 74 out 120 people passed away, 44 people were badly injured and the rest two were not to be found.

One of the 2 people was my brother. I cried for the first time since my father passed away and my mother was in real pain. I felt like I wanted to scream until everyone alive in this universe can hear me. My mother didn’t want to lose anybody she loves anymore. So, she decided that it was best to take a knife and lose herself. At that right moment, she rushed into the bathroom and did suicide.

Since then, all that was left were me and my sister who was 3 years younger than I am. We had nowhere to go, no food we can eat with just a penny. We couldn’t afford the electricity of our huge house, the taxes of our family won’t be filled by us as well.

I decided that it’d be better if my sister and I leave the house and find somewhere else to stay. For three years I have been finding a comfortable place to live in, jobs for a 16 year-old girl, and free food for myself and my sister. But it was useless, we were not able to get anything but rice and salt. I gave up from trying and finally decided that the sidewalk at the road was good enough to sleep at.

That was our place to live at for 7 whole months and one day, a guardian from an orphanage found us and put us in. It wasn’t that wonderful but I was happy enough that my sister and I could find a place to stay. Years passed by and my sister couldn’t find the perfect family to be adopted with just because of the autism she has been having since 3 years old. I prayed every night that she would be able to be adopted first than I am, but it didn’t actually happen.

In a week of time, I was immediately asked to pack my stuff that the orphanage gave to me and left without saying goodbye to my younger sister. I was in pain and I kept thinking about her condition at the moment. My new family couldn’t find a way to cheer me up. In the year of 2014, I stopped thinking about my younger sister and slowly adapted with my new family.

I was very happy and was a successful woman, having a beautiful family. But one time, I suddenly thought about the old family I had. I remember about the time where I left my sister in the orphanage. I wondered on how her condition was right at that time.

In 19 March 2015, all I asked from my family for my 23rd birthday is to just see my 20 year-old sister one more time. They granted my wish and we went to the orphanage where they adopted me. I asked the guardian and she told me that my sister died as an autistic orphanage a year after I left because of a bullying case she experienced. I realized that I’ve been having the worst life anyone has gotten.