And so Anne cried. She tasted her salty tears and felt her cheeks get stained; her demons clouding her head, as she chanted "I'm stupid" over and over again in her head.
It was always like this.
Anne and her mom.
They had never gotten along, for the bickering never stopped. And so did Anne's demons. They were always working, scarring her mind with unforgettable pessimism.
It never got easier for Anne.It just got worse instead. She feared that one day she'd reach her breaking point and think that maybe dying isn't such a bad idea anymore. Maybe she could just go into a deep slumber and put all of this behind her. But what she needed that time was something sharp, so that she could punish herself for being so stupid and disrespectful.
She could hear the disgust in her mother's tone, and when her mother had hit her; she realized just how worthless she truly was. How she had crossed the line and become so utterly useless and stupid, and so she started punishing herself with her demons. Letting them cloud her mind with darkness and eating away what's left of her joy.
She didn't know what to do at that time, so she remained quiet, sat still, and stared at her laptop screen; thinking about how stupid she was.
She didn't want to wake up the next day, for she feared to see the disgust in her mother's eyes. At that point, she started looking for pills--sleeping pills that she hoped wouldn't wear off.
Once she found them hidden inside the medicine cabinet, she started taking them every night. Each night with a different dose, for her demons wouldn't stop bothering her.
Weeks passed and things didn't get any better. The only thing she could do was rely on her sleeping pills to swallow her every thoughts and let her enjoy a good night rest. Until one night, she couldn't handle it anymore and did something irreversible. As the moon left the sky and the sun rises, Anne woke up to a blinding light. She could no longer hear her mother's cries. Bells and music calling for her were all she could hear.
She hesitated for a second and after having an internal debate with herself, she was finally at peace.
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