People say that when it comes to friendships, quality beats quantity. But what makes your relationships worthwhile? Certainly, if the truth is that you've only been tagging along, you would want to cut your losses. Here are the four major signs that you are just that one friend in the background.
Lack of Chemistry
You are prone to become a tag-along friend when you practically can’t seem to connect with your group of pals emotionally. In this case, only you and your friends would know. Usually, neither party would be any vocal about it—as it is a personal sense. It seems as if no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t be as emotionally attached or thoroughly understand them as much as you should. Your friends probably won’t realize either—as they likely won’t think anything of it—but the attitude will become very evident whenever you and your pals hang out. When that comes about, you may feel somewhat left out and not as involved in the group as should.
Third Wheeling in Conversations
A side effect of having a lack of chemistry with your group of friends is that you tend to third wheel in conversations. Say—you hang out with them one day. Each one of your pals is occupied chattering with one another. For some offbeat reason though, you can’t seem to get a word in as they chat together. It’s difficult for you to intermingle with them; you tried but they simply pay minimal attentiveness. Sometimes you may even feel the need to act out stupidly—just to draw their attention; which is absurd! In this case, stop hanging out with them! If simply getting them to notice your existence, requires you to be someone else; it’s not worth it.
Getting Ignored Constantly
Oftentimes, it doesn’t even take a hang-out for you to realize that they consider you a tag-along. ‘Oh no! I’m sorry I completely missed your address when mailing out the invitation letters!’ or perhaps, ‘I totally forgot to tell you we were supposed to hang out!’—do those lines feel familiar? In a lot of cases, those mishaps aren’t even intentional. But because they frequently see you as only tagging along, they tend to overlook you.
Acquiring the Leftovers
In reference to the third indication, which is getting ignored constantly—you’re also the one getting the scraps. In scraps, that doesn’t mean pizza scraps or food leftovers; but it shares quite a similar concept to those. It means, your ideas and presence are indirectly considered less important in comparison to those of your pals. This may refer to your opinions or judgments. To put this into a case scenario, say, you’re in a team project—your team being your group of pals—and there’s a heated debate in your team about which topic to take for the assignment. If you’re a tag along, you’re likely the last to be questioned regarding your opinion. Of course, that doesn’t automatically define you as a tag-along in the gang, but if this sort of demeanor of theirs toward you persists to occur in a continuous cycle; then it is very likely that they feel you’re only tagging along.
Being a tag along doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend, or have horrible social skills. It doesn’t necessarily make your friends evil, either! It just means that they’re not the right friends for you.
Even if you do sustain an everlasting friendship with your pals as a tag-along, it won’t likely be very deep or incredibly heartfelt. But don’t take this as an encouragement for you to fall out on a bad note with them! Maintain a healthy relationship with them, but focus on friendships with worthy people who you feel better around and can bond well with.
ok